All those proven talents reworking a likable old musical sounded pretty promising. But, though I'm turned off by S & M, there's sadistic pleasure in imagining what the New York City critics would do to this mess if, as threatened, it follows its current West End run in London (opening there October 4, 1999) by coming to Broadway. Showing not just lack of faith in the original work, but utter contempt for its words and music, the Brits played the charming old show like a fossilized music hall send-up. "Comic" John Hegley's unrelieved shtick never resembled human behavior and sought laughs by wiggling his hand through the fly of his underpants not once but four times. John Levitt's Mr. Hasler displayed equally crude comedy even less ably inflicted. Harle's attractive jazz music resembled old Stan Kenton tone poems, but unfortunately had someone singing songs like "Hey There" at the same time in another key and tempo.
Not much wrong with a black Gladys, even in a platinum wig, but talented Alison Therese Limerick performed "Steam Heat" like a gospel-rock number. Stella's colorful exploded-confetti set and black and white sewing-diagram sets made hash of the story and atmosphere. Costumes were in all-period styles and hideous. Royal Ballet's David Bintley either reflected a low opinion of show-dance or a total lack of talent for it in his tedious choreography. The male dancers were shockingly inept in basic technique. And the lovely Canadian singer actress Camilla Scott, stuck in the lead role of "Babe," should have sued her agent.
